Into the Deep

Blog 5 Therapist POV 5 Into the Deep

Today was a good day. Tiring, but good. Sitting with clients in the spaces they bring into the room: war-torn and discouraged by marriage, angry and somewhat desperate, grieving and weary, intentional and invested. I ping-pong all over the gamete of emotions throughout the day, working to align and attune to each client in the room; a task which is especially tricky when the client is a couple working from very disparate experiences. 

How do I help them feel seen, heard, and understood, while coaxing them gently towards reframing, practicing empathy, compassion (towards self or others), curiosity, and acceptance? In truth, sometimes, I do it much better than others. There are moments, of deep attunement, where the words come at just the right time. But there are many other moments that miss the mark. Moments where I throw out a gentle conjecture, only to have the client give me a puzzled look and attempt to let me down easily, “No…that doesn’t feel quite right. It’s more like…” Or moments where the question I posit is met with dead air. 

So we pivot, and adjust until we find the right fit; the phrase that, when posed to them, is met with shoulders relaxing and eyes softening. A sigh of recognition, of being seen and understood. Those are the moments.

This work is an exhausting one, a challenging one, and often very humbling. As a therapist, I have to ensure that I do what I need to do so that I can authentically enter into the deep with my clients. And while some days, I do it better than others when we enter into those sacred places of understanding and growth together, it is magical. Lifegiving. And totally worth it.